Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, Second Edition
by Marshall Rosenberg
This month I hosted an introduction workshop to Non-Violent Communication topic. I re-read book another 3 times in preparation for the workshop and got my read count to around 7. When I tried to distil it, apart from removing examples I couldn't remove anything else. Everything is to the point and relevant.
The book doesn't stop to excite me and I keep finding more gems in it. This time the self-empathy part stood out to me. Interesting that while the concepts appear simple, I found it takes time for me to fully absorb and adopt it over the years. I think a lot of friction goes to a lack of exposure to those concepts outside the book, as it's extremely rare to hear in practice from other people.
The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement
by E M Goldratt. and J Cox
The book is an easy read and a good introduction to Theory of Constraints. It reminded me of The Phoenix Project. I think some relationship drama was a bit excessive but it increased the stakes and made characters more alive. I can recommend.
Perfect Days (2023)
This movie is similar to Coffee and cigarettes. It's simple and there is more to it. It makes you stop and appreciate.
To be honest, it was difficult for me to watch it, because my brain was so desperate for stimulation. And that's the point of the movie. Today I saw this video essay talking about the movie's philosophy.
The video raises an interesting point. With ambition we place the future over the present. In a way hope helps us to overcome the struggles. That reminded me of "struggle" as a meaning of life mentioned by Viktor E. Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning.
Now is now, later is later.
Greenlights
by Matthew McConaughey
My friend loved it, while I didn't expect much of it. I do like his voice so I decided to listen. And wow, amazing! Great story, amazing audio narration, good life lessons, deep and personal. I loved it. I loved it.
I thought the audiobook was great, but the written copy is a masterpiece on its own. Photos, notes, journal, side notes. I can't decide which way is the best to consume this book.
100 things every designer needs to know about people
by Susan M.Weinschenk
I've read this book 13 years ago I remember it was fun but I didn't take much out of it. Since I'm currently exploring usability testing, this book came up again and I thought it would be a good idea to reread it.
I can say I feel exactly the same, the book is extremely surface level. 100 things is a big list and you have to compromise quality a lot. As a result the book is more fun than useful. It tries to be based on research, but at best it cites a single research paper per section and never talks about the quality of that research. I find it hard and dangerous to accept everything as a fact as there is a high chance it's not conclusive or just wrong.
If you are new to human psychology and behavioural science this is a good book to get started and get excited. Just see it as fun rather than practical.
Rocket Surgery Made Easy
by Steve Krug
The previous book didn't give me enough details and I was eager for more. The author promised this is the book. It is even more disappointing. It's way too long, very repetitive and surprisingly already dated considering it was published in 2010.
There are some useful tips on how to run a usability test, but that could be a blog post.
Don't make me think
by Steve Krug
This is an old book. The content is a bit dated and the message is still relevant. I'd say it's only an introduction to usability testing. I agree that the software industry still doesn't do enough usability testing and there is a lot to benefit. I think the book doesn't talk enough (if at all) about balancing competing priorities in design and work. It is much harder than deciding on button shape.
The book is light and short, and I think is suitable for non-technical people.
The Myth of Normal
by Gabor Maté
I finished 35% of this book and decided to stop. The book is unnecessary long and lacks coherence. The author makes big claims but fails to support them with equally sized facts. Also the book pushes on emotions with many individual stories, and lacks analysis of the discussed topics.
My recommendation is to avoid this book.
Radical Candor
by Kim Scott
This book has been a long time on my to-read list, and reviews are high. Recently I saw startup incubator was recommending it so I got it. And oh my, this book is poorly written. The book feels like an author's career brain dump. It's waaay too long, full of name droppings and lacks insights.
The book has two parts. The first part is about the "radical candor" concept. In short, be honest and direct at work, it's more productive for everybody. The second part is a collection of management tips. Most of them are common sense for an average manager. But it was still interesting to read Kim's experience and use it as a reminder.
I think as a society we need better managers, so I welcome any management content. High ratings of this book is just another proof of how bad we have it.
The Courage to Be Disliked
by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Wow, this book is a nice surprise. It's so good that after finishing it I decided to reread it straight away. The book talks about Adlerian Psychology. This is my first introduction to it, which is interesting considering it's one of the top three most influential branches in psychology among Freud and Jung. I think Adler's ideas are not popular enough in society. Fortunately past trauma healing is becoming more accepted as it allows people to understand their behaviour better. However it's also unfortunate because it often serves as an excuse for people to not change themselves.
The book controversially denies trauma existence, which is the most common complaint in the book reviews. However I think those people missed the point. The author does not deny bad experiences and that they shaped our lives. The book stresses that when thinking about the future, the past has little value. What matters is the present and your today's decision to change your life. To accept trauma healing and other personal growth you first need to decide to change.
The book is relatively short and extremely dense. The dialog format is refreshing and works very well. It's easy to understand and follow. My only complaint is that the youth part is unrealistically aggressive.
I think this book is a must read for everyone.
Escaping the Build Trap
by Melissa Perri
This book is a great introduction to product management. It touches on many aspects and is quite comprehensive. It reminds me of Modern Software Engineering book but for a product. My main takeaway: talk to your customers. I see how many company issues are coming from lack of information. All employees want clear company direction so they know what to prioritise, but the CEO can set the vision without good information, hence flaky direction. Product managers can only prove or disprove ideas with customers and other stakeholders. I like how the book describes the role: product managers are not who come up with ideas, but who stop bad ideas.
I love how the book is written and structured. It's easy to follow, has plenty of examples and the content of the book is explained with one fictional example through the book.
While I feel the book comes from experience, the book itself is only partially practical. It's a good overview. While a high level mindset is important, it's a different task to apply it in practice. There are many cultural, people, and organisational challenges that prevent good product management.
I highly recommend this book to all product managers, senior leadership and entrepreneurs. Like the book highlights, product culture spans to the whole organisation.
Outliers: The Story of Success
by Malcolm Gladwell
Interesting book that analyses what makes exceptional (aka outliers) people great. The author argues it's not what we think. My experience aligns with the reasoning. In short it's two things: opportunities and ability to seize them. It seems the former is much more important though.
The book also talks about the effects of legacy on our success. I didn't think about it too much, but it's definitely a common experience in my career when working with people from different cultures.
The book is full of stories and historic examples, which makes it easy to read. It could benefit from better highlighting the point in each chapter though, which would help in remembering it.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
by Stephen R.Covey
This was one of the first self-help books I've read, which was about 15 years ago. This month I decided to reread it, as I couldn't remember anything from it.
The book touches on many main points and that's why it's great. However most of the book is common sense. It's hard to disagree or be life changing.
The interesting part for me was to see development stages Dependence, Independence and Interdependence which are the same in Intimate Communion book.
I like the sequential model Stephen presents, however the delivery is bad. 7 habits are not habits at all, more like principles or groups. The book mentions a lot and yet it's still far from being comprehensive or foundational.
I'd recommend this book to people who are new to self-development. You'll feel like you've discovered super power, but most likely little will change for you. That's expected, use that energy to read more practical books next.
P.S. I couldn't find the audiobook of the text. All I could find is some author's commentary. Keep in mind the book is different.
Intimate communion: Awakening your sexual essence
by David Deida
I recently recommended this book to my friend and decided to re-read it. It's still one of the most influential books I've read and I can't recommend it enough to everybody.
The Cold Start Problem: How to Start and Scale Network Effects
by Andrew Chen
This book has one or two good ideas but overall it's a waste of time. You might like it because it's full of unrelated success stories backed by survivorship bias. My recommendation is to avoid.
The Master and Margarita
by Mikhail Bulgakov
I don't read much fiction, so this book was another occasional dip into it. I picked one of the most popular novels of the 20th century this time.
It's an interesting story and well written. There are many references to history and religion.
I didn't enjoy it though and I was struggling to finish it. Most references were not obvious to me and after researching them, I don't think that would have changed much. In comparison to movies, I found the novel much less dimensional.
If you are into fiction I'd recommend this book. However if the book does not resonate from the start, I don't think it will improve later for you.
Titanic (1997)
27 years since it's release I finally watched Titanic (1997) movie. I can't say it's dated much and it's still enjoyable to watch. Good romantic story, great action and acting.
Life of Pi (2012)
Great movie. It resonated with me and allowed me to see religion from a different perspective. However religion is not a main theme there. I couldn't find the quote, but I remember the phrase "if I can choose to live in a world where nobody or somebody loves me, I'll choose to believe and live in the world where somebody loves me".
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
by Robert M. Pirsig
This is one of the most famous books about philosophy. Few years ago my partner at the time gifted me this book for my birthday. She thought it's about motorcycles, so it was an easy choice for her. Over the years I've heard about this book from different sources. The most recent one was in this video.
This is a long book, and seems like the readers split into two distinct categories. Who loved it and found it life changing, or who didn't get it much. I'm in the second group.
It has a story which represents a life journey. I found the book's philosophy a bit shallow. There are two main points to it.
The first one is the talk about classical and romantic approaches. It's a discussion between science and creativity or intuition. The book was written in 1974 when the hippy movement was very popular. Rejection of technology was a common trend at the time. The book talks about the differences between the two ways of thinking and how the best place is to absorb both and be between them.
I think this discussion is still relevant in 2024 as we are still looking for that balance as a society. Interesting that I drew parallels to the movie Matrix. In the second movie people in Zeon city see machines as evil and yet their lives depend on them.
Science vs art discussion is also relevant to my career in software engineering, which is both. Such inconclusive balance baffled the industry for decades and we are yet to accept it as a norm.
The second point is a discussion about Quality. To be honest I didn't get it. I checked multiple book explanations and still don't understand it. So if you know, tell me. Interesting that there is a whole wiki page for it Pirsig's Metaphysics of Quality
The Mom Test
by Rob Fitzpatrick
"How to talk to customers & learn if your business is a good idea when everyone is lying to you."
Wow, what a great book. It ticked all the boxes: it was recommended by friend as a great book, it's short, it's practical, it's insightful, it has good structure, it give you chapter summary and cheatsheet.
This book is essential if you want to learn what your customers what. It's a must for product managers and CEOs.
Competing Against Luck
by Clayton M. Christensen
The book talks about how to build companies that solve problems for customers. This book would be a good introduction to people who are new to product development. In short, think of what value you are bringing to a customer. The author phrases it as a Job to Be Done.
The book is short but still too long. It could be summarised in a blog post. While reading I felt that this book was written to justify consulting services Clayton is charging companies.
The book is easy to read and has many stories. Those stories though are suffering from selection bias and have little connection to the book ideas.
I would recommend this book to people who are new to product development, otherwise don't bother. Just read the book's summary.
Warrior, Magician, Lover, King A Guide To The Male Archetypes Updated For The 21 st Century
by Rod Boothroyd
I read this book after the original King, Warrior, Magician, Lover book by Moore last year. I didn't like the original and didn't quite get this one. Since I didn't get it, I couldn't write a book review on my blog. It was sitting on my to-do list to review until Rob Boothroyd, its author, reached out and suggested that I read it. As a nice gesture I thought it would be nice to reread the book and review it properly. One year later I finally did it.
I like this book, and 4 archetypes finally grew on me. I find it a very simple but effective model, which works well in explaining the complexities of adulthood. Unlike the original the book is written in simple english. It has a good balance between theory and practical steps. It's shocking how some of the people's descriptions in the book were extremely accurate to people I know in real life.
The book is well structured, but I felt it's lacking the flow or coherence. That's probably why I found it hard to swallow the first time.
I'd recommend this book to all guys and you can save yourself some time and skip the original by Moore.
The Art of Loving
by Erich Fromm
This is relatively short book, but I found it exceptionally hard to consume. The language is very dated. The abstract form of writing doesn't help it either, but probably contributes to its popularity as readers can interpret it in many ways. There are plenty of good bits in the book. The parts that I understood, I don't disagree with anything.
This book is my friend's goto recommendation for a book about love. However I wouldn't recommend it for the stated reasons above.
The Millionaire Fastlane
by MJ De Marco
I read and reviewed this book last year. There are not many books that I reread. My opinion hasn't changed, it's a solid read.
ReWork
by Jason Fried and David Hansson
I was re-reading this book for a book club. I read it 7 years ago. You can read my previous review there.
After 7 years, my opinion of the book hasn't changed. It's a good collection of work tips and principles about small companies (but not necessarily small businesses). This book is better than The Minimalist Entrepreneur that I read recently for the minimalist mindset.
I added this book to my founder's must read list.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
by Robert T.Kiyosaki
This was one of the first books I read 15 years ago. It was the most upvoted book for a discussion so I thought it would be an interesting experience to re-read and reflect on it.
Now I can see why this book resonates so well with people. It over promises the results and misleads about efforts required and chances of achieving it. The book is mostly inspirational. It has some good quotes here and there to make you believe in ideas. It doesn't teach you much though. It's a good first introductory book to people who know absolutely nothing about finances and don't read books. I think for beginner readers inspiration is more important than heavy content.
However my recommendation would be to read Barefoot Investor book instead. It's easy to follow and full of practical advice.
Discipline is Destiny
by Ryan Holiday
The Destiny book lacks purpose. Maybe except to benefit the author. The book is an aggregate of ideas and examples pulled from other sources. Most of them are good and relevant but deserve to be discussed in a context. The book feels like a collection of notes written through the years and put into a book without connections between them.
This book is a good example of a "popular writer" issue. An author gets popular with one book and then starts producing many books after to milk their fame. Unfortunately fresh and interesting content is hard to produce and takes a lot of time. As a result any subsequent publishing is mediocre at best. My advice, be wary of authors with more than 1 book per decade.
I would not recommend this book to anybody.
The Minimalist Entrepreneur
by Sahil Lavingia
I find the main idea refreshing of building a small profitable business from day one. The book is a little bit inspirational and tiny bit practical. It's very short with a 4 hour audiobook. It is well structured and easy to follow.
Unfortunately I didn't find that book useful. I think the advice is limited and shallow. I think the only people who should read it are people who think unicorn companies are the only way.
Nineteen Eighty-Four (aka 1984)
by George Orwell
I've read this book last year, but forgot to mention on the blog. It's a good classic along with Animal Farm.
I also watched movie based on the book. The book is richer and more complete, but one thing that I particularly enjoyed in the movie is hearing "new speak" as they spoke it.
The Fund
by Rob Copeland
Two months ago I read the Principles book, which resonated with me. I was eager to find more details about their processes, but surprisingly there was very little public information on the internet. I got very lucky with timing because this year The Fund book was released, which shows a different side of the same story. It's good investigative journalism and I wish all books came with alternative perspectives.
The book is full of office politics, competition for power, people's insecurities, lies, abuse and domination. I think it's a great candidate for a movie.
The Fund book helped me to better understand the background and filter information from the Principles book. I still think it's a good book, but now I'd say only half of it is relevant. It's a shame that good ideas are poorly applied and associated with bad characters.
The book felt unnecessary long at times and could benefit from better writing and structure. But it was enough for me to enjoy.
The Fund book is a must read if you read Principles book or follow Ray Dalio's work.
Rails Engine
at Melbourne Ruby meetup
I did a presentation about Rails architecture with Lean Engines approach at November Ruby Melbourne meetup.
Opening to Vulnerability
by Dr. Krishnananda Trobe MD and Amana Trobe
You probably heard about the topic of vulnerability. It's becoming more popular. Brene Brown is usually the first author mentioned. I've read her Dare to Lead book and found her communication style is very hard to consume, which put me off the topic for some time. It's lacking content and unnecessarily stretched.
Unlike Dare to Lead, The Learning Love Handbook is written in a simple language. It communicates like a person would explain it to you.
I love how practical this book is. It has a good balance between theory, examples, and exercise. It's fairly short and to the point.
The book starts with a model explaining our essence, trauma and protection mechanisms. It's one of the simplest and yet powerful models I've seen. The content overlaps with my therapy experience
I recommend this book to everybody. It could be life changing because it teaches a new life perspective, which most people could benefit from. The perspective that can get you unstuck from psychological traps and start growing.
The Psychology Of Money
by Morgan Housel
I like how this book is easy to follow and understand. It talks about wealth topics that are not usually discussed or obvious.
For example Warren Buffett who started investing at 10yo and is recognised as one of the greatest investors. His net worth is $84.5 billion. However he accumulated 99.5% of that after his 50th birthday or 96.5% after his 65th birthday. That's not so impressive anymore.
In addition, if you take his investment skills and apply to an average person who starts investing at 30 and retires at 60, their net worth will be $12 million. That's a decent amount of money, but not that impressive for the skills of a greatest investor. And that's a realistic theoretical maximum and your success won't be nowhere near that.
Audiobook format was okay, but keep in mind there are few charts that are quite important. I can recommend this book to everybody who is money conscious. I think you'll learn something new.
Never Eat Alone
by Keith Ferrazz
I was disappointed by this book. It's about how to be good at networking. It offers some practical advice, but it's shallow and full of long stories with vague points. As a result the book is way too long with little value. You might find it useful if you need to network for your job, like CEO, politician, journalist, etc. But in general I'd recommend avoiding it.
Principles for Success
by Ray Dalio
After researching after reading Principles book, I discovered there is a followup book called Principles for Success. This book is a good summary and overview of Principles book. Principles for Success book is short and illustrated version designed for all ages. So this book should be No.1 to read for everybody. The good news there is a video version of it as well. The book comes with a good exercise at the end which is not in the video, so have a look at it too.
Principles
by Ray Dalio
Principles is one of the best books I've ever read.
I was always surprised that there is little to none of the best knowledge transfer between generations. As a result each generation has to start at zero and figure out life themselves again and again. Our technology is improving at a rapid rate, and yet our life skills barely moved, and some could argue even deteriorated over generations. I feel this book serves that stable platform to step on and to move further in life.
Unfortunately I spent a lot of time learning the hard lessons myself. However, on a good side, only after that I can assess the quality of the book. That makes me appreciate it, as it fully aligns with my life experience and world view.
Do NOT listen to the audiobook, but read the book instead. The book is very well structured and that structure is lost in audio format making it much harder to absorb.
If you want to achieve things in your life that book should be your number 1 to start with. If you manage people, it also should be your No.1. I definitely will be re-reading it again soon.
Update 1: There is a summary version of the book called Principles for Success which should be No.1 to read for everybody.
Attached
by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
This is a very popular book and I finally got to read it. I like many stories, examples and workshop tasks in the book which make it easier to understand the point.
This book reminded me of the Models book. I feel it touches a similar subject but from a completely different perspective.
The book is generally good and I agree with most of it. However, it rubs me the wrong way.
The biggest problem, the book presents "attached model" as first and primary, while behaviour and skills are seen as secondary. That is also emphasised by the children's research. Such a presentation implies that your attached style is part of you and genetic.
The book could be very damaging if you adopt that thinking model. I'm not talking about the model itself, but the way the book tries to convince you about it. I see anxious and avoidant types are a consequences of communication skills, emotional intelligence, confidence and your relationship model. In other words the book focuses on consequences and not the cause. It does talk about the cause but is relatively minor.
Attached model explains the consequences but it is useless to fix them. Having understanding that there is a problem doesn't help if you don't understand your emotions or can't communicate them. Or expressing only feelings and not needs will get you nowhere. Unfortunately I met people who fell into the trap of using the attached model as a primary tool and got even more frustrated after not seeing improvement.
I definitely recommend this book, but with a big big caution. Read the arguments and ignore the model, it's just a distraction. Instead focus on primary factors like skills and behaviour. And probably read another book after to improve those.
Stolen Focus
by Johann Hari
Why you can't pay attention and how to think deeply again.
Few friends recommended this book. I enjoyed it as well. The author talks about the factors that reduce our attention and focus. I like that the book takes one step back and looks at a bigger picture beyond what is commonly recognised like social media. That includes low rates of sustained reading, mind-wandering, stress, diet, pollution, over protectiveness of children.
I like that the author highlights that we shouldn't blame all failings to ourselves and consider the overall environment. It is often working against you and it's very difficult to succeed in such conditions.
The book is well structured and easy to follow. It could be shorter without personal stories, but overall it's very enjoyable to read. It goes well as an audiobook as well. I'd recommend it to everybody for general awareness.
Intimate communion: Awakening your sexual essence
by David Deida
This is not as famous as The Way of the Superior Man book (which I didn't like due to language) by David Deida. Intimate communion defines and talks about masculine and feminine. I found it interesting that the book is 28 years old and it seems back then people had difficulties with understanding those concepts. It feels the book is even more relevant and needed these days.
I really enjoyed the book and it helped me to understand myself better and what relationship I want. The book is purely subjective but I found my personal experience fits extremely well into the models provided.
The book is a bit repetitive and could benefit from a better information structure and delivery. But I didn't find it too distracting.
This book is a great companion to the Mating in Captivity book. They talk about the same principle but completely from different perspectives.
How to start thinking on monday and not finish on tuesday
by Anton Petryakov
This book is a good compilation and summary of many core concepts essential to living in the modern world from other books. I like how consumable the author makes the content. That's the best part.
On the negative side, some of the explanations are wrong or misleading. In short, enjoy the summary of other books, and be wary and ignore ideas coming from the author himself.
Author could have spent more time on research. I'm in a rare position to say that. The author references 11 books. 1 of them is his previous book, and I've read 5 out of the remaining 10. It's only with deeper knowledge I was able to spot some of the weak arguments and wrong conclusions.
Despite a quarter of the book being wrong, I would still recommend this book to everybody. The value of the remaining 3/4 is worth it, since you probably won't read the originals.